It’s a hard road
Honestly feel like I’m going to throw up, I have a pit in my stomach, my chest feels heavy. I’m scared of the outcome.
I knew I should have just not said anything. I swear I just keep assuming we can meet half way but noooooo. I’m whiling but they’re not. Why is it such a big deal to try and understand one another’s beliefs. Why do I bother trying? Why do I bother working on our future now? Fuck it I guess I’ll just let things work them selves out.
Alone, watching Juno, drinking coffee. I’m so sick of have emotions and feelings, I swear on everything I have I’m not meant to have emotions or feelings. Why must I be human? I hate them! I hate that I care. I hate that I get excited. I hate that I enjoy. I hate that I cry. I hate that I get sad. I hate that I get mad. I hate that I hurt. I hate that I like. I hate that I get happy. I can’t stand this my emotions and feelings are all over the place now, I’m like a pregnant women. Why can’t I just have someone to talk to? Someone who wants to be around me, someone who enjoys spending time with me, just someone who cares endlessly about me. Someone to listen to my problems. Why am I the only person who doesn’t have that?
Am I really that horrible to be around?
